WTF is Cryp-to-Nuts?
CryptoNuts is a spiritual movement disguised as an NFT collection. It’s a community of digital degenerates united by one sacred belief: JPEGs should never have this much responsibility.
Our mission? Make the blockchain a little dumber, one nut at a time. We sacrificed our dignity to make you laugh on-chain so we can afford rent and say goodbye to mom’s basement.
NUTMAP
Mint 10,000 Nuts
Accidentally go viral
Wen everything
MEET THE TEAM
PANKS
Nuts Artist
Started drawing at 3,
still suck after 30 years
DEVE
Fiverr Dev
Will do anything for 5 bucks
SUSAN
Head of Broken Promises
Currently dissapeared but
says she’ll be back for mint day
FAQ (Frequently Avoided Questions)
Q: wen mint?
A: wen the stars align, the dev wakes up, and gas is under 69.
Q: what’s the utility?
A: memes, chaos, and the occasional existential crisis.
Q: how to get WL?
A: steal it, earn it, dream about it, your choice.
WL spots are distributed via sacred dice roll by a blindfolded monkey.
Q: is this a rug?
A: no, it’s a limited edition digital carpet for your metaverse igloo.
Q: team doxxed?
A: we’re so doxxed, even our imaginary friends have KYC.
Q: roadmap?
A: yes. it’s in a locked drawer in a house that doesn’t exist.
Q: any collabs?
A: we almost collabed with NASA, but they ghosted us.
Q: floor price prediction?
A: somewhere between 0 and spiritual enlightenment.
Q: social links? Discord? Telegram?
A: we communicate exclusively via smoke signals and suspicious QR codes in alleyways.
Q: is this project dead?
A: only on weekdays. We revive during full moons.
Q: why should I mint this?
A: because your therapist said you need to take more risks.
Q: art made by AI?
A: no, it’s handcrafted by a raccoon with WiFi.
Q: real utility soon?
A: yeah bro, utility is coming right after Half-Life 3.